Poop.

Poop is EVERYWHERE.


Well, at least that's how I feel this morning.


My son, my darling son, has issues with poop. He doesn't poop on a schedule... instead, he saves it up... several days between poops...He saves it up and when he can no longer fit a single DROP in the miles and miles of his baby intestinal track, he spews forth the yellow sticky stuff in explosive quantities.


And no diaper on earth will hold it in. Believe me, we've tried cheap diapers, pricey diapers, big diapers, tight diapers, diapers made for farm animals. Nothing can hold that child in.


Oh, and he doesn't just have one bowel movement every few days. He has none... for 4 or 5 days... and then he begins his "Shock and Awe" campaign of 3 days worth of crap.


I bring this delightful subject up so that as a share my morning with you, you have some perspective.


First, I'm trying my hardest to make the kid sleep the WHOLE night in his crib... rather than 4 hours, and then the rest of the night needing me to provide comfort in order for him to sleep. So I'm pretty tired, as I sat on the floor next to his crib for the majority of the night.


He was happy after waking up, so I put him in his jumper (remember the cute one I got at the garage sale that I LOVED?? HA!), and started doing laundry. Because that's what every sleep deprived mother does at 7am on a Saturday morning. Laundry. Not sleep.. not coffee... not even breakfast... Laundry. (Ryan, with his pooping, creates a good two loads a week of the stuff himself, not to mention the other two messy boys I'm living with.)


I was feeling pretty good despite the lack of sleep... until I walked over to the laundry basket which was on the living room floor next to the jumper. And then I smelled it. And I turned in HORROR to see my adorable cute baby with a wicked grin on his face as if to say, "Mom, you wouldn't let me suckle on you all night, so therefore I have devised this horrid evil plan as payback."

The evil plan was to wait until I had placed him in his jumper (which in case you've never seen one supports a baby entirely with a seat/harness that puts their entire body weight in their diaper area.) and then void the contents of his digestive track and then BOUNCE.

This had gone unnoticed as I was switching loads of laundry, and gathering dirty clothes from around the house. So he was able to get several good bounces in... which squeezed runny breast fed baby poop through the elastic leg bands of the diaper, down his leg, onto his feet... which he was kicking and bouncing off the carpeted floor of my living room.

Ground in poop is WAY more fun than piles of poop any day of the week.

Seriously, the kid had carpet fiber/poop toe jam.

Thus begins my relaxing weekend. HA!