Look, no hands! (Okay, one hand.)

Things I've discovered:

1. I type much better with my left hand.
2. An infant does not care if the rest of the house eats, as long as he has total access to his meal cart.
3. A cradle on wheels is a wonderful thing.
4. Baby sneezes are cute.
5. I've missed sleeping on my stomach... comfortably.
6. When you have a newborn, you should invest in more than two sheet sets for your bed.

Typing one handed has become a necessity since Ryan has decided to nurse every waking moment... which is every moment he isn't nursing, lol. He's only been sleeping in about 30 min blocks during the day, but at least his nights are stretching out! Doing anything has become a one handed deal, which means that cooking is pretty much out... poor Mark and Evan!

Ryan also seems to have picked up a little sniffle. Little tiny coughs and sneezes. We're hoping it STAYS a little sniffle and doesn't progress into anything larger.

Ryan had more Dr visits yesterday, and good news: NO MORE DR VISITS UNTIL MAY!!

He's gaining weight (see constant nursing comments). He's up to 9lbs 9ozs. (He lost just over a lb his first week or so.) AND he's grown 3/4 of an inch. He's in the 99% for both weight and length. No change yet in the heart category yet though... which the Doc said means we're probably in for the long haul... not just "he hadn't finished cooking" quick fix.


I have pictures to upload, but my camera cord is too far away, and, well, it'll have to wait until this nursing session is over!

Random

1. Today is my due date.

2. Today I am wearing NORMAL pants... yes, they are my fat jeans, but the point is they button and are comfortable. 10 more lbs to go (and I'm sure some of that is breast milk weight!!)

3. Evan will be 6 next week. He asked for chocolate cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles. And for dinner... SAUSAGE (brats) and tatertots... and TREES! (He calls asparagus "trees".) He drew a picture of the "trees" to make sure I got the right thing.

4. I'm going to leave the house today and go SHOPPING... for real. We've been house bound for the most part since Ryan's arrival... today Dad is in charge of the little guy and I will go to the grocery store... and BIRTHDAY shopping for Evan.

5. Ryan is now awake.... which means this is the end.

Are you sick of pictures yet??

My adorable boys.

Today is Friday Fun Day. Not surewhat we're going to do... since we're not suppose to take Ryan out and about yet... I think that means a marathon Wii session.

Wait... Isn't it SPRING??

I know that my days are all messed up, as are my days and nights, but I'm pretty sure it's spring.

Why does it look like the frozen tundra outside my window??

Why did I send my son to school this morning in SNOW BOOTS?

WHY is my heater kicking on every 30 mins to keep the house in an remotely acceptable temperature zone??

On the other end of the spectrum, WHY have people forgotten in just a few short weeks how to drive in the snow?? Honestly people. It's not that hard. I'm not talking glare ice, or snow packed roads. We only got a few inches in the valley, but you would have thought that there was several FEET on the roads the way the idiots were driving. People who are overly cautious are just as dangerous as those who think they are part of the Indy 500.

Milk Maid

Yep, Ryan has decided to make up for the weight he lost, and I have become a milk machine.

He's nursing about every 5 seconds today. Wait... maybe every hour is more accurate.

I had tried to take an adorable infant picture earlier (but Mr Grumpy face wouldn't play along) so my camera was close at hand, and I was able to snap this picture earlier...

I had forgotten how much I loved the view looking down at something just so perfect. There is nothing quite like the peaceful look on a baby's face as they nurse.... esp when they get their little hand up close to their face.

Brotherly Love

This morning, Evan went back to school. Evan has said several times this weekend how much he will miss Ryan when he's at school.

Ali Edwards (there is a link to her blog in my sidebar) posted a few days ago about how they had printed a picture of her newest for her oldest to take to school.

So Evan and I printed out two pictures this morning for him to take along.

I stood in the doorway while he hung up his coat and backpack.... and saw him pull out the pictures, kiss them, and put them in his pocket before taking his place in the class room.

I barely made it to the car before the tears started! How SWEET is that?????

Big Foot

Now, I thought Evan had huge feet and hands. Really. He did. Does.

BUT his little brother is going to give him a run for his money!

Seriously... These are Mini Mark feet. (And I use the term "Mini" very loosely.) Flat and long... just like his Dad.

And remember those cute little booties I made?? Yeah, not even close to fitting! These socks are 6-12 month old socks. And they fit just perfect.

Random Pictures

First.... My little boxer... His nose is still a little bruised. You can't quite see it in the picture, but his forehead was bruised, he had two black eyes, and his upperlip was also bruised. His nose though, just cracked me up, lol.

And at one week old... I think his nose is a little crooked. He's so freaking adorable though!

Evan helping with the first bath... Well, first bath at home at least.

Because he was tethered to his bili light, we spent a lot of time down on the floor playing with him. (You can just see the blue glow behind his head... that's the light.)

Evan is totally in love with the little guy. He is constantly begging to be around him... hugging him... and reading to him. This is the book Evan picked out before he was born. He can read all the words himself, and has read it to him at least 20 times in the last week!

On Sunday, while Mark and I were at the hospital, Sara took Evan to Build a Bear... and Evan stuffed the black bear, named Little Bear, for his brother. The bear's birth certificate even has the same birthday! Evan brings Little Bear to Ryan everytime he cries.

Well, at least ONE of them was sleeping!!

Discharge Day

It's taken me a few days to get over the intital panic of what was suppose to be an exciting day turning into one of the most stressful days I have ever faced.

Going back to Tuesday morning, I was so excited to take my family home. We had grand plans to get out as early as possible because Mark had to leave for an overnight work trip that wasn't possible to reschedule.

Ryan was sent back to the nursery promptly at 7am so that he was there for the pediatric rounds. Our regular pediatrician was on vacation, so one of her partners was coming to see to Ryan's discharge. I had noticed he was a little jaundiced, but nothing too severe, and he had finally started to nurse a little better. I was confident we would be home and snuggling before lunch.

And then the pediatrician came in. And she asked about our family history with heart conditions... and my breathe got caught behind the lump in my throat. My perfect little boy had a murmur. His dad has one too. It's hereditary... Mark's mom's side is littered with murmurs... and I just kept telling myself "they are all adults... my baby will be fine." My head kept saying that, my heart wasn't listening.

The doctor had made an appointment for us at Primary Children's (our local children's hospital) to get an echo and meet with a cardiologist for that afternoon. It was serious, they penciled us in, someone gave up part of their lunch break to get him on the schedule.

So we were discharged from one hospital, and went directly to the next... without passing go.

The echo itself took about 45 mins. I got to see his little heart thumping away. Most of the time, I had no idea what I was looking at... I will say though that there was one view of the chambers with the valves clapping away that looked just like a stick figure of a Bollywood Dancer, lol. He was a perfect little angel, and slept through all but about 5 mins.

After the echo, we met with the cardiologist... And she came in with a big smile and said she would explain everything in a moment, but that I could relax she had a "Best Case" diagnosis for me.

Primary's is a teaching hospital, so the doc had 2 residents with her. Now I have a BIG baby, but it was rather comical to watch them try and get three stethoscopes on his itty bitty chest while they examined him. "Can you hear that?" "And how about that?"

Then the doc sat back and pulled out a diagram of the heart. And started talking. lol. I can honestly say this is one of those times that I could see her mouth moving, and I could hear her talking, but I seemed to be in a completely separate place. She's obviously done this before, because she touched my knee, and brought me into focus, and started again.

Ryan has 2 Ventricular Septal Defects. That translates into 2 holes in his heart. VSD. It sounds less scary when you call it VSD. (I remember watching something on 60 Minutes where they were talking to ad agencies who do drug commercials... they did studies, and people in general like 3 letter abbreviations for medical conditions. I guess they are right.)

She explained their location, their size, what they were doing to his heart... twice. And then she told me why this was a GOOD thing. She explained that if you had to pick a heart condition, this is the one to pick. She said that 20% of VSDs close on their own. We were lucky enough to catch it very early. That means we can watch him for the symptoms of more serious heart problems, and have a better chance to catching them before they become serious. These were all good things... that's what she kept saying. She explained what I needed to watch for, gave me the diagram of the heart so I could explain it to Mark, and then smiled again... This was GOOD... she had a nice smile, so it was easy to trust her....

Until I left the room. And then my heart started screaming at my brain, and a tug of war started. And those stupid pregnancy hormones DID NOT help one itty bit.

Between the Jaundice (which got way to high, and the pediatrician (again, not our regular doc) kept trying to prepare me to take him back to the hospital (the bilirubin level has to stay below 20, and he was at 18.5), and the heart issues... Little Ryan has now racked up more doctor visits in his first week of life than I think I had during my entire pregnancy.

I'm finally to the point though that I can talk about it without completely breaking down in tears... So that's what Ryan's first week has been filled with. Oh, and lots and lots of snuggles and hugs and love. Even with the bili light, we were able to hold him and snuggle him. He's eating better, and he's more awake.

And he is the sweetest little guy.

I'll upload pictures this afternoon.

Potty Surgery

I have a lot to tell you all about the last week, but emotionally I'm just not ready, so instead, you get and Evan story.

Ryan had a little nip tuck done yesterday in his nether regions. (Evan refers to the area as his "Potty")

When we came home from the doctors, he was pretty upset, and Evan was hovering as I opened up his diaper.

"MOM! What happened to his potty??"

"Well, the doctor had to cut off a little piece of skin."

Evan grabbed his crotch with both hands, his eyes got HUGE, and he looks at me like I am completely insane... "WHY mom?? WHY?"

It was SOOOO incredibly hard to not bust out laughing. He was so genuinely concerned for his little brother, I knew I had to keep it together and NOT laugh, but it was exactly the stress relief I needed.

Random Hospital Story

Now, this is just random, but I have to share it. Deal with it.

So I had an epidural. Which totally numbed my left side. Sort of numbed my right. And left my middle rather able to feel.

This led to a few hours after the delivery, my bladder telling me it had business to do, my right side being willing to cooperate WITH ASSISTANCE, and my left, well, my left was still in la la land.

But my bladder, being the most awake, decided it was TIME to get out of bed, my left leg would just have to come along for the ride.

Mark held Ryan, my CNA grabbed my right side (my left was closest to the wall, and therefore support), and my RN walked in front helping to PULL my left side along, and in case I toppled.

They kept telling me to lock my knees. My knees cooperated.

My left ankle, which was higher than a kite, and a little perturbed at being neglected over the "All important" knees, decided to show off, and rolled... right out from under me!

The worst part of this was, at each shift change, every new RN walks in and checks your ankles for swelling... and I had to explain to each on that NO, it wasn't a serious serious case of edema, and YES, I can walk on it... not well, but it was just a sprain. NO I did NOT want more help going to the bathroom!

And this has nothing to do with my fat ankle... here's a picture Evan took of Ryan and I the first night...

Birthday

Where to start??

Well, I slept really lousy on Saturday night, tossing and turning with contractions (same false labor pattern as before). I was wide awake by about 3am, and just laid there and planned out the day/week in my head.

Then, right before 5, I had a nice strong contraction and thought I was peeing my pants… yeah. Not pee. I got up and went into the bathroom, and realized that there was NO way that my bladder had the capacity to hold that much liquid for the last few months. Then I got REALLY excited! I was just glad that my body had decided to take the next step, and do things on it’s own.

While Mark took a shower, I called my parents… and it was just in time for my mom to run up to the airport and get on the first flight. Next, the hospital… and then my sister to watch Evan. The whole time, I could NOT believe how much water there was! I was SOOOOO glad that it didn’t happen at work, lol.

What I didn’t realize until we were almost to the hospital was… the contractions had stopped. Those wretched things that had been my constant companion for the last several weeks had decided to take a break. The NERVE!!!

The doc decided to give me a few hours to let my body try and kick itself into gear before going the drug route… so Mark and I wandered the halls of the hospital for a few hours. No changes. At all. Ryan still had a lot of water around him, the bag had broken way up high, and there was a huge bubble trapped between his head and his escape route, so he wasn’t engaged… and with the contractions rolling along like gentle waves, there was nothing encouraging that bubble to go away. So drugs came on board at 11am. And that also meant that an epidural was coming too.

I was a little nervous because this was the point that the problems with Evan’s delivery came about… and so I sat there with my back to a doctor with a long long needle, holding Mark’s hand and tried my very very best to be in the happiest place on earth. Every time I would feel a pain or have a moment of fear, I would conjure up some weird image… which led to the complete confusion of the anesthesiologist and nurse as I giggled and cried at the same time. Seriously… the doc hit that point were the electric shock runs through your leg, and I laughed… and he thought I was nuts… as did Mark.

Anyway, there was a little problem getting the drugs to hit my right side, and I could feel everything there… my left side completely numb, couldn’t feel my toes, and my right side one huge horrible ball of drug induced pain. I liked my left side much better at that point. After about 20 mins, they gave me another hit of the GOOD drug, and finally, the pain level started coming down… however, I could still feel the center right of my body… which was VERY odd, but bearable.

They checked me and I had made it to a 6. It was 2:45, and my most wonderful nurse was about to go off shift. I was a little bummed, she had been with me all day, and was so attentive and caring. (SO very different than my experience with Evan.) Anyway, about 15 mins after three, my new nurse came in and was going over things with me, and I had that wave of nausea come over me… I remembered that from Evan. The nurse knew I must be getting close and checked me again. YEP! 100% and a 10! Ryan was still out of position, but my body was ready to go.

That’s when the flurry of activity began. The doc came in, he had me push with the next contraction, and Ryan slid right into position on the first push. They broke down the bed, and had me ready to push with the next contraction. One good, hard push, and out came his head. The pediatric team showed up… and next contraction, push… his shoulder got stuck. THEN more activity. I don’t know how it happens… but the doc said “Call so and so” and just like magic… the number of people in the room doubles. My original nurse was there next to Mark… my new nurse on the other side, both giving me instructions, and push… his shoulder comes free, and so does he! He was officially born at 3:49 with just three official pushes. His scores were perfect.

Now, my Doc was out of town, so the doctor who delivered Ryan was his partner… nice enough, but not my doc.

As he was working on me, and they reported Ryan’s weight… he looked up and said “Now, with your next baby I STRONGLY suggest that you be induced a week early.” And the nurse laughed and said “This guy is TWO weeks early!” The doc just got wide eyed and said, “Well, I guess you just make them big!” When I saw my doctor the next day he walked in the room and asked if his partner had been a little freaked out by the size of Ryan. I laughed and told him the story, and he told me that his partner gets really nervous with big babies, and as soon as they called him and told him I had gone into labor he just laughed because he knew I was going to shock the poor man!

Anyway, there is more to tell… maybe tomorrow… but that is the actual birth story. I cannot even put into words how much different (for the better) this one was from my first. It’s amazing what your body can do when IT’S ready vrs having to be pushed into labor!

Introducing...

The new big brother. Ryan Michael was born on Sunday afternoon... weighing in at 9lb 14 ozs, and 21 inches long. I'll post his story a little later... it'll take a while to write out, but I wanted to show off my 2 adorable boys.

OH, and congrats to my Brother and Sister (in law)... they found out on Monday they will be adding to the male side of the family in early August! I'm sure he will give Ryan a run for the money for the cutest boy born this year (but hopefully for you Johanna, NOT the biggest!)! We're SO excited for you, and Evan is elated to finally have a BOY cousin!

Nesting... or just tired of the mess??

Not sure which, but... My house is clean for the first time in a month. And I mean actually CLEAN.... floors vacuumed, toilets scrubbed (Evan's been in charge of those for the last few months, so this is was a MOM scrub.)

Mark wanted to go down to Manti today, and I just couldn't handle the thought of all of that driving... and making small talk with family... while feeling like crap, so it was the perfect time to get things CLEAN. And it's so nice. I vacuumed about 4 hours ago and the living room is STILL clean. lol.

Dinner is made, and my sister and brother are coming over... I decided to do our traditional St Patrick's meal this weekend so that I didn't have to worry about it during the middle of the week. They need to get here quick before the hungry pregnant lady can't control the urge to eat ALL the corn beef.

So, nesting or not, my house is clean. I feel much better.

Countdown

I feel as if everyday now is a countdown... but I don't know how far into the countdown I am, which is rather frustrating since I'm a PLANNER. I NEED control. I need to be able to have a list... and be able to cross things off. X out days on the calendar... etc.

The little widget down at the bottom of my blog is just mocking me now. Is it REALLY 15 days? No. But is it less or more??

Grrr. Okay, complaining pregnant rant over.

Anyway, Evan is cracking me up lately. Today for Friday Fun Evan packed up his backpack up with a water bottle, grabbed a ski pole, a pop gun, all his cop gear, a map he found in the garage, and went for a "hike" through the empty lot next door. For HOURS. He also "shot" some "deer". He takes after his father.

He's also been walking around talking in a Scottish accent... think Ewen McGreggor... and saying lines from Star Wars. The kid is freaking obsessed. It's pretty cute. I keep trying to get a video of him, but he won't do it when I pull out the camera. I'll have to try sneaking up on him.

In case you were wondering...

The bathroom is open... but it smells like an open sewer in there.

Oh, and I have a Doc appointment today. SP is NOT allowed to make an appearance today (Mark is out of town), so I'm not sure what I'm hoping for, lol.

I want the last week of hellish contractions to have done something, but not really, because then that means I'm close, and well... I don't want to have to use the back-up plans!!!

So, I'll keep ya posted.

It's just not right.

I work in a 6 floor building. My office is on the 4th. It's a government building, which means everything is closed off for "authorized personnel" only. My security badge will work on the 1st, 2nd, and 4th floors.

There is one bathroom on every floor. The 4th floor bathrooms are OUT OF ORDER TODAY!

That requires that I either hike up and down the stairs to the 2nd floor... or stand and wait for the elevators. I'm not sure which is worse as a "not so small child" is pushing down on my innards.

OH, and Mark is going out of town tomorrow, so walking up and down the stairs isn't really something I want to chance today.

Still here.

I still have a renter in my abdomen. (Although, he's going to be evicted soon if he keeps acting up!)

And, it was brought to my attention that some of you missed the post on what SP means.

It is NOT his initials. We have no clue what is name will be. (Suggestions are still welcome.)

SP means Sweet Pea. Since Mark is impossible to pin down names with until crunch time, I refuse to call the baby "baby" or "he" or "it" or whatever until the birth cert is filled in. So I call him a cute little obnoxious nick name, that I can continue to call him after he is born. Evan is Baby Bean... this one is Sweet Pea.

Finally... Sleep.

Last night was the first night in a week that I DID NOT wake up to contractions. I actually feel rested.

But not to worry, my uterus hasn't given up, it started playing it's little game again this morning. (Not to hard though, I think it enjoyed the rest too, and is having a hard time waking up.)

So that's the update. Oh, and I still have laundry that I'm avoiding.

Duh.

Sometimes it takes me awhile.

Mark bought me an IPOD Nano several years ago when they first came out. I love it. I use it all the time. It has it's moments, like any gadget when it rebels against my love for it by annoying me.

It likes to freeze. Usually when I have a PLAN to use it.

For several months, it froze up every time I tried to use it. I patiently waited for the batteries to die (refusing the offer of my husband to "Just go get a new one." due to the sentimental value of this little guy.).

Today, I was making sure my podcasts and playlists were all up to date for that trip to the hospital. I got it all fully charged, and decided to use my little lovely while I folded laundry. It froze.

I cursed. I almost drove over to Best Buy to get a new one. (If it hadn't been for the fact that I'm wearing my husband's sweats, I might have.) I was just thinking "GREAT! I'm going to go into labor before this thing has a chance to run out of batteries and recharge. AND it will probably do the same stupid thing when I want to be distracted during labor."

And then, the great epiphany. GOOGLE: My IPOD keeps freezing." And low and behold, there is a way to reset the silly thing AND keep all your music.

This is why God invented Google. (Okay, maybe there are better reasons, but today, it was because a pregnant woman needed to find out how to reset her IPOD.)

WE MADE IT!!

Today was a good doc visit! The doc told me that he will no longer be holding bed rest over my head! The contractions are now acceptable (I asked to WHO, and he just laughed). The blood pressure will no longer be a huge issue because if it DOES go up, SP has cooked enough.

Labor may begin.

So, yeah. Hmmm.

No changes, lol.

Contractions are still coming strong and constant. They go in spurts, but so far today, they have been a steady 10 mins or less apart. So, and little more constant than most of the week. They are still dropping for hours at a time to within 4-5 mins, but then slowly go back back to 10. When the checked me today, there wasn't any change. So, even though they are strong and constant, they arn't doing much other than annoying me, lol. At least they arn't painful!

My good friend came over today and we went for a walk, and then sat together and talked for several hours. That was wonderfully relaxing.

Evan is still at Grandma's... I'm sure he's being spoiled, which is great. She will be leaving again to live out of state for a while in a few weeks, and he really needs to have some good Grandma love.

Tomorrow will be full of MORE laundry, and maybe a little knitting... or scrapping if I feel like making a mess. Oh, and I'm sure more timing of contractions!

Now that the Doc has given the green light for baby to come, I'm feeling excited rather than apprehensive. I thought it was hard to keep busy enough to keep the stress down before, lol, now it's hard to keep busy thinking so my mind doen't keep going, "OOOOO It's almost time for him to come!!!"

Fingers Crossed

I'm off to visit the Doc. I'm not sure what I want the outcome to BE, but.... Think happy thoughts!

Mark said last night he hoped SP came this weekend... I'm not sure if I feel the same, but after one week of solid contractions (even if they arn't too painful) I just want them to stop!

SP Update and More Evan comments

First... SP and I spent the afternoon in Labor and Delivery. Just so you know... I have been having contractions since Saturday night. No pain, no pressure, just tightening. On Sunday, they were about 3 mins apart, but I refused to go to L&D because I'm stubborn like that.

Yesterday, they were about 8 mins apart, steady and hard, but again, no pain. That's when I gave in and called my Doctor. Doc said I needed to put my feet up, relax, and drink (water, I clarified with him) and go in if they fell to 5 mins apart.

After I cleaned off my desk, I decided maybe I'd go home and try and take a nap. I got almost all the way home (a 40 minute drive), timing contractions at 4-5 mins apart and finally allowed myself to talk myself into going to the hospital. I told myself that as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, they would stop. I sat in my car for 3 more contractions... about 12 mins. Then decided that if I got up and WALKED in, they would stop. I stood outside the doors to L&D for 2 more contractions before I went in.

They DID slow down once they strapped the monitors on... 5-7 mins apart, very steady for the 2 hours they had me on them. No changes though, so even though they were registering regular and hard, they let me go home.

So, because I'm stubborn, and need to keep busy, I'm going to go in for a few hours and do work on some projects that require I do nothing but stare at a computer screen. I PROMISED Mark that I would be careful and come home if SP decided that was too much.

NOW, on to Evan... which is much more fun.

He's learning to add. He's worked his way up to 5 plus ? . Mark worked with him last night on some practice problems. So as we sat at the table this morning eating our cold cereal, I was quizzing him. I'd holdup 2 fingers on one hand, 5 on the other. "What's 2 plus 5?"

SEVEN!

3 plus 5?

EIGHT!

4 plus 5?

NINE!

5 plus 5?

MOM that's SO easy! 10!

6 plus 5? Then I giggled and said, "Do I need to take off my shoes??"

"DUH, MOM! You can't take your shoes off during a MATH test."

Send "STAY PUT" vibes to SP.

SP thinks it's okay if he comes out. Me AND my Doc disagree.

Think good thoughts that he will stay put for at least one or two more weeks.

(If I went into labor, they wouldn't stop it, but every extra day in there, the better off he is.)

I'm currently debating staying at work with my door shut so I can clean off my desk, or going home (where I will go crazy, and not be able to talk myself out of doing dishes and other random "keep busy" things.). Doc says stay off my feet (not completely exiled to bed, but told "less is better") and at least at work, my mind can stay busy while my butt sits in a chair.